Coming Clean - short story
He looked over at Nadine again. She rose up after doing a line and smiled at him. She mimed unbuttoning her shirt and crooked a finger at him. Layne, sitting next to Nadine, reached over and grabbed one of her breasts.
“Better hurry up asshole,” Layne said loudly. “You don’t want this little girl here to get bored, she might remember that I’m the one with money.” Layne and Nadine both giggled while Nadine playfully slapped Layne’s hands away. David tried to silently hush them.
“Who was that, David?” his mother asked.
“Nobody, ma, it was the TV.”
“Well, I don’t mind keeping Daniel a little longer while you get things worked out,” his mother said flatly. Here, Daniel wants to talk to you.”
“Wait, mom, I can’t,” David began as he watched Layne do a line, but his son’s voice cut him off. David moved away from the bar and walked right up to the picture window, his back to Layne and Nadine, and pressed his forehead against the glass.
“Hi buddy, are you having fun with grandma?” he asked. Daniel answered in his two-year-old language of expressive and mostly unintelligible sounds, except for the word ‘daddy’ clearly spoken at the end. Then there was a loud plastic crack as Daniel dropped the phone on the floor. David could here Daniel’s bare feet slapping against his
mother’s floor, and he smiled. He missed him, but there was a heavy, dull pain in his chest every time he looked at his son. Jennifer, David’s wife, had died just a few months before in a car accident. Daniel looked so much like Jennifer.
There was a muffled shuffling sound as his mother picked up the phone.
“Daniel misses you.”
February 5th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Very nice. You captured the helplessness feeling quite well.
February 6th, 2008 at 8:24 am
Thanks, I like this version a lot better.
March 13th, 2008 at 11:53 pm
Nice story, bro. I thought it started a bit rough, but I was hooked only a few pages in. Good progression and char dev.
April 20th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
Joe! This is FUN - didn’t know you had it in you!
Rock on. Hope to have you three out here soon…
Molly